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Did you know
that hot air balloons as we know them began here in Boise? Oh, you may have
heard stories of one hundred years ago in France, something in the air,
staring cows, worried farmers with pitchforks. Believe me, the tradition of
the biggest and best started right here. Sixty five million years ago.
That was when Dina was born. She was the child of a mixed marriage. Her
mother was a Brontosaurus, sturdy and hard-working, while her father was a
dragon. Snout of a camel, ears of a donkey, scales of a fish, talons of an
eagle- that's what she inherited. And she was so small and light-footed she
hardly seemed to touch the ground.
Yes, she was peculiar, really small for a dinosaur- or a dragon. She was
about the size of you and me. Luckily, her parents realized how special she
was, tiny and cute and smart. She made what seemed to them unusual sounds,
for instance, as she bounced from one interesting thing to another. She
didn't just eat and grunt like everyone else- she was inventing language! In
fact she was often making up words when she should have been browsing and
watching out for big-footed relatives. Her parents, for their part, were
very indulgent, dropping food at her feet and nodding fondly while she tried
to explain to them what she'd named it. That was the unfortunate part of
being born in the late Jurassic period. She had nobody to talk to, nobody to
appreciate how intelligent she was.
That's the way it was, with Dina pretty much observing and figuring things
out for herself, when an enormous asteroid hit Mexico bay and spewed ash in
every direction. As the sky darkened and everyone else ran and bumped into
each other and such, Dina understood the problem. Gotta breathe! She dug a
hole, using those great claws, and jumped in with as many fern trees as she
could hold in each hand. She had barely climbed in when the whole place was
covered with ash from here to October. While Dina was holding her trees and
her breath, her parents and cousins were meeting a terrible fate, as we all
know. Amazingly enough, Dina survived, but the ash and mud was so deep it
took her until 1991 to dig herself out. It's the truth. When she finally
emerged somewhere south of Boise she found- civilization as we know it. The
best part is that everyone around her was speaking English, which she
invented as I already told you.
Dina was very happy and excited to see all that had evolved since she'd last
been out- roads and mammals and cars and clothes-- oh, she looked down and
realized for the first time that she was naked! All she had were these rocks
in her fists, what was left of her trees, which had turned into stones that
glittered. People came up to her and told her they were diamonds, and wasn't
she clever to save something so valuable out of the Jurassic! It wasn't long
before she had a crowd with her as she bounced into the Mall. She waltzed
into the Bon, where someone in a flowered scarf sprayed her with perfume.
She traded one bitty diamond for a lovely outfit and then the next person
she saw was a car salesman who told her how nice she smelled and how pretty
she was, and didn't that color look good on her! Before long she'd traded
another diamond for a convertible!
Now Dina drove down Milwaukee to partake of one of the greatest products of
the modern world, books. She was ready to catch up on all she'd missed in
the last few million years. One diamond loaded her back seat with books and
people eager to join her in hamburgers and milk shakes and a little advice
on how to sound out dipthongs. They were paying her so many compliments and
she was reading so fast by the time she finished those books they had her
convinced she was the prettiest, smartest girl alive! Only one problem. Each
time someone paid her a compliment, Dina got a little bigger. She'd been
bothered about her small size before, so she was happy to be growing. And
because nobody ever said anything mean (this happens, Darling, if you are
rich enough) she also felt very light. What she didn't notice is that she
was also quite hollow on the inside, pretty much addicted to keeping company
with people who complimented her constantly. And as long as her diamonds
lasted there were plenty of folks willing to fill her full of hot air.
Anyway, her step was even bouncier, her heart was fairly flying when she
realized she was too big to fit back into the driver's seat. She just
started bouncing down Americana boulevard toward Ann Morrison park.
That's how she happened to overhear a group of people sitting around the
park, with giant baskets in the back of their pickups, full of big dreams
but no plan. "Somehow I figure this is going to be the BIGGEST, most
important event in the WORLD!" one man exclaimed, waving his hands just as
Dina jounced by. Well, Dina thought he meant her! She puffed up and, whoop!
she started floating away.
Someone in the back of a pickup threw a rope to her and when that didn't
help they tied on a basket and climbed in. They all went sailing off, with
Dina looking down all excited seeing she was now the greatest and highest
and biggest and best after all! Every time she whooped with delight- Ooh!
Ah! Oh!-- her exclamations turned into smaller balloons that the other
people with baskets caught. That was the beginning of hot air ballooning as
we know it today.
Copyrighted by Jeanette
Ross. All rights are reserved.
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